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Losing Face–a Relationship Grenade
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Did you ever wonder why a particular conversation between you and your partner developed into a surprisingly heated argument? You may have the thought, “Wow! Your reaction seems out of all proportion! All I said was …” If you made the mistake of saying the previous sentences aloud, you’ve seen how they can further inflame […]
How to Save a Marriage After Separation (Part 1)
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
As you might imagine it is easier to save a marriage that is still intact than one in which the process of separation has begun. That being said, there are ways to save a marriage even after you are living apart. First, you must have a sincere and strong desire to reconcile and most importantly, […]
Relationships Are Forever
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
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Years ago, I read somewhere that relationships are forever, that they may appear to end but they really don’t. At the time, I immediately dismissed the idea as nonsense citing many cases where people I once knew were out of my life completely. Now I think there is some truth to that statement and I […]
The Power of Self Awareness and Self Expression
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
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One of the most valuable things you can do for your relationship is to work on yourself. This may seem counter-intuitive since our mate will often appear to be the one who needs work. (It’s not me, its him/her!) Respond rather than react As it turns out, it’s actually easier to change ourselves than it […]
Tips for Accepting and Forgiving Ourselves
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
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One of the hardest things for us to do as leaders, spouses, or parents is to accept ourselves exactly the way we are and accepting our situation exactly the way it is. We are, as a society, very oriented toward self-improvement. In many ways this is a good thing. It’s natural for us to want […]
Is Romantic Love the Real Thing?
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
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I’ve often heard people say that falling in love isn’t real love and that all the feelings and perceptions that accompany romantic love aren’t real either. It’s true, falling in love is something that just seems to happen to you. You get swept up in a kind of infatuation that you have no […]
How to Be the Best Boss, Spouse, Parent and Friend
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
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My dad, who will be 95 this summer, was the 9th of 10 children growing up and living through the great depression in Hampton, Virginia. He attended the University of Virginia for both College and Medical School before being shipped off to Okinawa during World War II. After the war, he settled in Baltimore where […]
Tips For Reducing Holiday Stress
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
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The holidays bring with them the potential for considerable stress and anxiety. Most folks can’t help but have hopes and expectations and if these aren’t met, upset feelings are right around the corner. Unmet expectations and thwarted intentions (the major causes of upsets) occur more frequently around family gatherings. So how can we be with […]
7 Steps to a Better Relationship
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Step 1 – Stop Talking About Your Problems Welcome to 7 Steps to a Better Relationship video series. I look forward to presenting these to you. I will support you in any way I can in having the relationship you’ve always wanted. With practice you can turn these suggestions into graceful habits in your life. […]
Tips for Accepting and Forgiving Ourselves
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
One of the hardest things for us to do as leaders, spouses, or parents is to accept ourselves exactly the way we are and accepting our situation exactly the way it is. We are, as a society, very oriented toward self-improvement. In many ways this is a good thing. It’s natural for us to want […]
All Better Now? Maybe Not
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Not too long ago, I was waiting in the outer office for a client of mine to finish a phone call. He was having a very heated dispute with a vendor and the argument, with a heavy dose of profanity, was easily heard by everyone in the small office. I noticed that his assistant got […]
Don’t Just Sit There!
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
In 1991, at the end of George Bush Sr.’s first term, I remember him being criticized for not having a vision or a purpose for being president. The story being written was that he just wanted to be president, not necessarily take the country anywhere once he achieved that position. Whether or not this was […]
A Life of Increase
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
The natural tendency of life is to increase and expand. Whatever there is becomes more and more over time. Everything we observe seems to grow and move in the direction of increase. That impulse is in us as well. It is what sparks our desire, what makes us want to express ourselves as fully as […]
Stick to Your Knitting
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
There is an ancient story about a man who, one dark night, has lost his keys and is looking for them under a lamppost. Another man approaches and, learning of the man’s problem, offers to help locate the missing keys. The helper asks, “Where were you when you dropped them?” The man points to a […]
Where You Look
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I saw a documentary in an IMAX theatre about an ambitious project that the Smithsonian Institute once undertook. They wanted to create a life-sized flying dinosaur, a replica of the famous pterodactyl. The hardest part for them was to figure out how this ancient bird was able to change direction in flight. They toyed with […]
The Nature of Perfection
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
One day when I was in college, I remember one of my professors going to the chalkboard and drawing a large circle about two feet in diameter. He looked out at us and asked, “What is that?” We all said, “It’s a circle.” I heard my voice over of everyone else’s. I usually felt dumb […]
Treat Me Like an Object
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Years ago I learned why we call some things objects. A wise person I know placed a chair between me and him, pointed to it and asked, “Is this an object?” I said, “Yes, of course it is.” He then said, “Walk toward me and see what happens.” I replied, “I can’t do that. The […]
Don’t Kick the Cat!
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I read a disturbing statistic the other day in the news. The article stated that reported incidents of domestic violence were up 300% in the areas around the Gulf of Mexico where workers had lost their jobs. The job losses were attributed to the oil leak and the moratorium on new drilling. I can imagine […]
Flexibility Saves the Day
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Last week my friend, Dave, and I took a three day bicycle trip along the C & O canal next to the Potomac River. He and I usually take week-long motorcycle trips each summer. Bicycling was different. We were surprised at our being able to talk to each other while we rode side by side […]
Memorial Day
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
For five years I had the honor to work as a contractor for the Army Reserve. Being a Reservist, especially now, is one of the most difficult jobs there is. As a Reservist, you are called a double citizen. Not only do you perform your regular day job but you also serve your country one […]
Thank Your Teacher
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
My dad once told me a story about how he decided to become a doctor. It was because of his 10th grade science teacher. Here he was, the 9th of 10 children, going through school with no particular distinction. Years earlier, his mom had lied about his age and had gotten him into first grade […]
Disney’s Amazing Discovery
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
When Disneyland was first created, it was designed to be a place where people would feel happy – happy about reliving the best moments of their childhood, happy to see their children enjoying themselves and happy to learn new things about science, history and technology. Soon after the park’s grand opening, they found that despite […]
Thank you for signing up
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Thanks for registering to receive Dr. Jim Goldstein’s FREE video series, 7 Steps to a Better Relationship. You’ll be receiving a follow up e-mail shortly. Just click the link in the body of that e-mail and you’ll be directed to the videos. It is my pleasure and honor to show you how you can recover […]
Who’s In Charge Here?
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I’ve always been curious and fascinated by the period of time that all humans spend in the womb. There is really nothing else like it in our human experience. In the womb, someone or something is managing our entire existence for us, protecting us and loving us, making sure we have an environment is which […]
Every Relationship is Sacred
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
As human beings we have a way of seeing the world that is quite unique in its flexibility. We can see ourselves as separate from everything we perceive or we can see ourselves as part of and connected to everything around us. The existential philosopher, Martin Buber, called these two relationships, “I-It” and “I-Thou.” In […]
7 Steps to a Better Relationship
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Step 1 – Stop Talking About Your Problems Welcome to 7 Steps to a Better Relationship video series. I look forward to presenting these to you. I will support you in any way I can in having the relationship you’ve always wanted. With practice you can turn these suggestions into graceful habits in your life. […]
Everything Is Working Out for Me
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
My brother called me the other day very excited about a new mantra he just started using. It wasn’t really a mantra in the way we usually think about them—some word that you say over and over again in your mind during meditation. It was more like a little expression or affirmation he could repeat […]
Oh Baby, You KNOW What I Like!
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
This was the tag line of a wonderful song from the early days of rock and roll by a performer who called himself, The Big Bopper. It was called Chantilly Lace. In the song, the Big Bopper (Jay Perry Richardson) describes in this baritone voice how his young girlfriend walks and talks and dresses and […]
The Beatings Will Continue…
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
There is an expression in the workplace (also found on tee-shirts) that says, the beatings will continue until morale improves. It refers to the absurdity of management expecting people to feel better about their job and about themselves (morale) by constantly criticizing and shaming them (beatings). As crazy as this notion is, I find that […]
Me and the Chicken Heart
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
When I was very young, a school friend of mine introduced me to a new comedian named Bill Cosby. He was different from many of the other popular comedians. They just told jokes. Cosby told wildly exaggerated stories from his childhood along with his own brand of microphone sound effects that we thought were hilarious. […]
Communal Adventure
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I live on a quiet little street in North Potomac, MD. Most of the time, this is an advantage. Very few cars come by because we aren’t a thoroughfare to any other street. The one disadvantage is that we usually are the last street in the county to get plowed when it snows. This last […]
Two Types of Forgiveness
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I think forgiveness is one of the hardest virtues to practice. We all know it is probably the right thing to do but there is something about doing it that brings up a lot of resistance. I’ve often wondered why this is so. Sometimes we hesitate to forgive because we fear that if we forgive […]
The Law of Attraction and Emotional Maturity
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
The Law of Attraction has been around for years (maybe forever) and has recently received a lot of attention in the media. The criticisms of this basic “you get back what you put out” principle range from it being too simplistic to it being too materialistic and superficial e.g., “I just kept envisioning a check […]
The Value of Things We Don’t Like
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I’ve always been amazed at how quickly and easily people will complain. Pass around a microphone in a group of people and it won’t take long for them to tell you what they don’t like. Over time, most of us have come to recognize the corrosive effect of negativity on our health and peace of […]
When Are We Going to Be There?
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
When I was little, I was always somewhat impatient and unsatisfied. Like most kids, during car trips, I would often need to ask, “When are we going to be there?” I also believed that there was some imaginary age that I would eventually reach after which time, I would be so much happier. Wherever I […]
How to Keep Your New Years Resolutions – Part II
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Last week I gave you a few tips on how to keep your New Years Resolutions. The trick is to avoid using willpower to achieve your goals. Remember, will power creates won’t power. Before you know it your initial enthusiasm to change your ways will be replaced by resistance and a lack of motivation. How […]
The Importance of Human Connection
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I’ve often heard it said that we are all connected to each other in ways that we can’t always discern. I remember a lecture by Deepak Chopra where he explained that each of us share the same atoms and molecules with everyone else on the planet. It’s just that having a body with physical senses […]
How to Keep Your New Years Resolutions – Part I
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
As you have probably experienced, most New Years resolutions aren’t kept. I think I know why. It has to do with how we go about keeping them. As the previous year draws to a close, it’s only natural that we look back and resolve to do better in the coming year. We say, “This year, […]
Getting Started
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Dr. Robert Anthony once wrote, “The last fault people try to correct is procrastination.” I couldn’t agree more. We procrastinators like to think of ourselves as “deadline driven.” There is an interesting phenomenon that I have observed regarding procrastination and its relationship to anxiety that I’d like to share. One time, in college (see pic), […]
My Great Aunt Celia
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I had a great aunt who taught me a tremendous amount about how to create your own happiness. She lived what I now realize was a charmed life. Almost everything went her way, and I believe it was because she chose to be happy regardless of her circumstances. Once, when I was about 7, I […]
I’m Growing Like a Crab
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Living near the Chesapeake Bay, I’m pretty familiar with the Maryland Blue Crab. They are amazing looking creatures and come in all sizes. I’ve seen baby ones that measure barely an inch and have also seen crabs that are 8 inches across with formidable claws. What most people don’t know is that crabs don’t start […]
We Are the Meaning Givers
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I’ve noticed that whenever something awful or wonderful happens in the news, there is an attempt by the media to find out the cause, the things in a person’s life that led up to the incident in question. Interestingly, it is never hard to find something in a person’s past that explains or accounts for […]
The Magic of Successive Approximation
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Years ago, the researcher, B.F. Skinner, constructed a box in which he put a laboratory rat. He used this “Skinner Box” to study and test his theories on learning. In his model, called operant conditioning, learning was achieved merely through manipulation of the subject’s environment. No other communication or internal thought processes were necessary. Inside […]
Why Does Anyone Need a Coach?
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
People often ask, “Why do I need a coach? Shouldn’t I be able to do this on my own? Good question. Coaching isn’t for everyone. It’s for people who want to get where they are going faster than they would on their own.
Are You Going to Eat That?
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Have you noticed over the past ten years how many of us have become more selective about what we put in our mouths? I used to be a somewhat unconscious omnivore back in the day. Now I’m likely to pay close attention to what I eat. Sugar on an empty stomach is now a no-no, […]
The Message Behind the Message
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
A while back, a friend told me an interesting story about his family’s new car with a built-in GPS. This was before GPS was so widespread. It was a big deal that this car had one and that it worked so accurately. After he had owned the car for a few weeks, I asked him […]
Shooting For the Moon
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I read an article a while back about an interesting discovery that was made when scientists examined the tracking data from Apollo 11, the first successful moon launch. What they found from the data was that the vast majority of the time, the lunar rocket was off track. This discovery I thought was significant considering […]
Conceive, Believe and Achieve
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
In the 1930’s Napoleon Hill, author of the all time bestseller, “Think and Grow Rich” wrote, “What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” I thought it had a catchy ring to it when I first read it but I always believed there were limits to the veracity of this statement. […]
The Bind You are In
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
There are times in every relationship when you feel stuck in some way. You may feel uncomfortable with something that just happened or something you have noticed in your partner or employee and not know how to talk about it. Perhaps you have tried talking about it in the past but it just seemed to […]
“The Enemy of Art is the Absence of Limitations” Orson Welles
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I’ve often been impressed by the wisdom of this quote. At first it seems counter-intuitive. Why would having no limits be the enemy of art? If we had an endless supply of whatever we needed couldn’t we produce that much more in terms of creativity and imagination? As it turns out, the absence of limitations […]
Are Your Employees Getting Dumber and What Is That Costing You?
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Have you sometimes scratched your head at the downright stupid and costly mistakes your employees make? Doesn’t it surprise you when employees who aren’t new to your business make beginner mistakes and you think, “Come on. You are smarter than that and should know better than that.” How often have you seen an error that […]
Riding in the Hot-Air Balloon of Life
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
I’ve only been in a hot-air balloon once but it was unforgettable. We visited some friends in Albuquerque, NM when they were having their annual Balloon Fest. Hundreds of hot-air balloons lifted off at dawn. It is one the most photographed events in the world. My family and I took a wonderful ride in a […]
You Are Most Welcome
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Welcome to Dr. Jim Goldstein’s Powerful Partnerships blog. This site is all about having the power to transform any relationship into a great one. I hope to share my experience working with hundreds of partners and individuals over a 20 year period. I also will draw on my personal experiences and relationships over 25 years […]
Tips on Keeping People Connected
By: Dr. Jim Goldstein
Communication: An Essential Factor in Employee Engagement Thanks for subscribing to Powerful Partnerships® in the Workplace Video, Communication: The Key to Engagement Most employees start off with a good attitude and tend to be engaged and hopeful. The trick is, how can you keep them that way? Also, once they have disengaged, how can you […]
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